Originally published 17 March 2020.
My name is Christie, and I am super anxious right now. The world is in turmoil and we’re all afraid to go outside or to come in contact with other people because of this virus that’s going around. We’re washing our hands constantly and eyeing anyone who coughs with extreme suspicion.
We’re seeing glimmers of beauty in all the chaos. I saw the video of the Italians harmonizing with one another from their balconies, and it made me cry. I read a poem that was posted and re-posted on Instagram about how this can be a time of self-reflection and healing. But despite the silver linings on this very big and very dark cloud, we as a people, all around the world, are afraid.
Some of you have never dealt with anxiety like this before. You know people with anxiety disorders, and you’ve marveled at their ability to freak out over absolutely nothing. But now, you kind of get it. You’re afraid in a way you’ve never been before. Your mind is inventing all kinds of scenarios about what could happen, what might happen, oh my God, what WILL happen!—and despite your rational side telling you you’ll be fine if you’re just smart about things—that as long as you wash your hands and don’t touch your face too much you’ll be safe; that it’s just another flu; that you’re not even in an age bracket where it’s a concern—despite telling yourself over and over that this can’t last forever and you’re going to be fine, you’re afraid. And you don’t know how to deal with it.
Well, I have good news for you. I do know how to deal with it. I’ve been dealing with it for most of my life. It’s not easy. There is no quick-fix miracle cure. If there was, every single one of us with anxiety disorder would have been done with it a long time ago. It’s not something you can drink away with alcohol or smoke away with a blunt. You can’t kill it with a Xanax.
Oh sure, you can mute it for a time. Taking an anti-panic drug is like putting a gag in the mouth of the anxiety that’s been screaming at you, or putting on noise-cancelling headphones to block out the persistent voice of fear. It gives you space to relax and time to think. But the gag won’t stay in forever. The headphones will lose effectiveness and the fear will come back. So what can you do? How can you deal with this crippling fear and anxiety?
You keep on moving.
It sounds simple, but it really isn’t. Anxiety makes us want to stop everything, curl up in a ball, and make the world go away. The last thing you want to do when you’re afraid is move forward. You may be okay with running, but you likely want to run away, to get to safety. But instead of running, instead of shutting yourself away (metaphorically speaking, since most of us are actually physically shut in right now), you need to face your fear, acknowledge it, and move on.
We have to take things one step at a time. It might feel overwhelming to that you have to get up, go to work (or work from home), cook for your family, and do all of the everyday things you need to do. You might be looking at your long list of task sand wondering how in the world you can get through them when you can barely think straight from the fear. Take a pause. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and ask yourself what is the next thing you need to do. Just one thing. Open your eyes, keep breathing, and do that thing. That’s it. Nothing else matters.
You may have a hard time focusing on one thing at a time, and that’s okay too. I have the same problem. You can acknowledge your stray thoughts, but don’t dwell on them. Every time that “what if…” pops up, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and say to yourself, “I hear you. But right now, I am doing this. Right now, I am in this room, doing this thing.” Breathe, and do your one thing. When you are done with that one thing, do the next thing. And the next. Keep on moving. Keep on living.
I also urge you to pay close attention to who and what you are watching and listening to. Is your social media blowing up with fear-based posts? Are you binge-watching the news and growing more and more anxious about your health, your family’s health, your money? Maybe you need to step away from your social media. Step away from the news. Focus your attention on positive things. Listen to uplifting music. If you’re religious, read your Bible, Torah, or Quran. If you’re not religious but are reaching for something bigger than yourself, talk to people who do believe and find out from them where their hope comes from. I find so much comfort in God, even in the midst of my fear, because I know in my heart of hearts that He is with me, He loves me, and He will protect me. I turn to Him with my fear and even though I still feel it, I am comforted.
In closing, I just want to encourage you. This crisis won’t last forever. We are dealing with a lot of uncertainty right now, but we’ve gone through crises before and the world keeps turning. Keep on moving. Keep on breathing. You can do this. You’re going to be okay.
With Love,
Christie
