Originally published 10 October 2013.
Hello, my name is Christie and I have anxiety disorder. I also have a bit of seasonal affective disorder (SAD) and what is likely a touch of PTSD. That probably sounds just about as fun as it feels.
Some days I’m totally fine. You wouldn’t be able to tell I have any issues. Other days, well…. Some days I wish I didn’t have to get out of bed, frankly.
I was in a constant, heightened state of anxiety from around 2008-2012. During that time, my health took a nosedive and I went through a whole bunch of testing only to be diagnosed with IBS. Which basically translates to, “You often feel really crappy but there’s nothing physically wrong with you.” In late 2012 I moved from my hometown of MD down south to NC to join my family, and had a blissful few months feeling totally normal. I like to call that my honeymood period. Then my body said, “Wait, I’m supposed to be anxious and tense, aren’t I?” And BAM, back it came.
Luckily, I’m nowhere near as bad as I was when I left MD. However, I still deal with widely varying moods and the potential to have an anxiety attack at any time for the silliest of reasons. things like: “I have a headache. OMG SOMETHING IS VERY WRONG WITH ME I’M GONNA DIE!!!” So dumb.
I developed mild PTSD after I had a fainting spell in church. I can’t sit in the same spot I was sitting when it happened without having flashbacks and getting very nervous. If I’m tired on Sunday morning, I spend the whole car ride and the beginning of service being worried about fainting. It annoys me. Like I needed another mental illness.
I decided to start this blog to talk openly about my anxiety, panic, SAD, and PTSD. I’d love to share the techniques I’m using to deal with my illness, and hopefully hear from some of you as well.
I’m a high-strung person, so I’ll be dealing with anxiety all my life. The goal is to find better ways to deal with it so it has less of an impact day to day. I hope you’ll join me on this journey.
